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Broken
So....school has started. It's the end of the first week, and I can't say it's been the best week. I've already broken down lol.
I'm just so weak. But I just can't help thinking about all the stress that's going to build up as the weeks come, that I'm feeling stressed from feeling stressed. Get what I mean?
I really really hate myself for being the way I am. I don't want to go back to my self-harming ways. I mean, I've never cut myself or anything. But I would scratch my arms and thighs, slap my own face, smack a rubber band onto my wrist and all other stupid things. And yesterday, I had an urge to scratch my own thigh. And when I came to the realization that I actually thought about doing that again, I was terrified.
Did I ever get over my previous relationship? Are the after-effects only coming now? But it's scary how I never even cried about it. Not even once. Or is it because of the stress from school? Or is it because of how much of a loser I think of myself? I don't know. Frankly speaking, I'm very lost. My mind is clouded, and I'm thoroughly lost within the clouds of my mind.
So......this is a cry for help.
Save me.
“I used to think I was the strangest person in the world but then I thought there are so many people in the world, there must be someone just like me who feels bizarre and flawed in the same ways I do. I would imagine her, and imagine that she must be out there thinking of me too. Well, I hope that if you are out there and read this and know that, yes, it's true I'm here, and I'm just as strange as you.”
“This is how you do it: you sit down at the keyboard and you put one word after another until its done. It's that easy, and that hard.”
Thank you for taking the time to read my thought tidbits.